|
Eowin
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Blaire
Birthday: 12/12/1981
Gender: Female
Interests: Acting, writing, reading, movies, being a Barista, martial arts, salsa dancing, collecting knives, and sarcasm/using pithy comebacks:*bad French accent* “Go away or I will insult you a second time!”
Expertise: Don't claim any. I know just enough to make me dangerous.
Occupation: Jack of All Trades
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  Blaire98
Member Since:
12/31/2003
|
|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
|
Here I sit. Pondering recent events and wondering if it will do me any good to commit these thoughts and feelings to what seems more and more like void of vanity. Look at me and how well I write.
Something has changed within me.
Something is not the same.
I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game.
I don't think I'm all that fantastic anymore to be honest. My grammar has always been atrocious as is my punctuation...
Too late for second-guessing.
Too late to go back to sleep
I'm getting off point here. The point is that I am saddened. By the loss of so many things I once found vital. My passion, my conviction, and is some cases, it pains me to admit here- my witness.
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes, and leap-
I've gained many things as well- friends, compassion, a more understanding nature, a new view of faith.
It's time to try defying gravity.
I think I'll try defying gravity,
and you can't pull me down!
I still feel, deep down, that I've let to much go- and now I wonder how to get some of those things back without hurting people I love and care for.
Too long I've been afraid of
losing love, I guess I've lost!
Well, if that's love,
It comes at much to high a cost!
No matter how deep you bury it or how much you're hurt by things that have happened to you, who God created you to be will always rise up. It may feel like it's choking you. It may feel like you're to tainted to be anything but a shadow of your former idealistic self.
I'm through accepting limits,
'Cuz someone says they're so.
Some things I cannot change,
but 'till I try, I'll never know
I call bullshit. Don't buy into that load of crap. Don't let the evil in this world win. It'll try to tie you down to the vices that you think make you different, but instead make you defeated.
I'd sooner buy defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye-
I'm defying gravity,
And you can't pull me down!
Can't you feel it? That moment you let slip when you could have changed or said something to make a difference. But fear stole your voice and not wanting to hurt others grounded you. I won't let it happen to me again. This slow death of who I once was will stop here.
So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately:
"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"
I'm sorry if that means I'm not so easy to be around or that you're afraid I'll call you on your shit. I would hope you'd call me on mine. You know who I am and what I stand for. Where the hell has our want for all of us to be better gone too?
And if I'm flying solo,
At least I'm flying free.
To those who'd ground me,
Take a message back from me:
I'm so tired of being tied to the ground and wondering why my spirit isn't soaring like it used too. There is so much more than this, can't you see?
Tell them how I am
Defying gravity.
I'm flying high,
Defying gravity.
And soon I'll match them in renown.
I'm sure I'll get called all the names in the book. I'm also pretty sure I might not hear that often from some of you. But I can't keep this up. The pretense of being 'normal' in this worlds eyes is sucking the life from me.
And nobody in, all of Oz.
No Wizard that there is or was.
Is ever gonna bring me down!
So here's to defying gravity. On my terms, with God's help, and a whole lotta love.
I pray you can handle that.
| | |
| Not to save the world but to write a quick update on my poor, anemic, little blog. Points of interest currently include: * Yes, I'm still at Starbucks, and yes, the company is still descending into the crapper. * My best friends wedding is in a little under a month from now. I get to be in New York for over a week. In April. To say I am excited/stoked/ecstatic is an understatement to be sure. * Working out continues. Joined the local gym for access to a treadmill (which for some reason I love, I do not understand why) and cable weights. I am contemplating getting a trainer for a couple of months when I get back from New York. We're doing Cape Cod for our family vacation (I know I am blessed) and they have pretty decent surfing AND I need to be in shape for that. Only if the budget allows though. BTW, surfboards are EXPENSIVE. Just thought I'd let ya'll know. *wink*
* I'm finally writing again. No great American novels coming your way mind you, but it's a start. * First tattoo (or two) coming up in May. * Seriously contemplating doing a marathon at the end of the year with my brother. Training for it would start in August. And that concludes the update Du Jour.
Ciao- E.
| | |
| Here it is folks. It's been about two months in the making but I think I might have it. I have shamelessly ripped off Max Brenner's of New York City. And if you happen to be in Manhattan and taste the real thing, I know mine is but a pale imitation.
Enjoy-
B.
1 Large Butternut Squash
1 medium sweet or white onion
2 granny smith apples
4 tbsp. butter
4-6 tbsp. parsley
2-3 cubes chicken bullion
1 1/2 cups chardonnay
3 cups heavy whipping cream
Salt and Pepper
Start by putting a large pot, half full of water, on to boil. Lightly salt and pepper the water.
Take the squash, cut it into four pieces (or six, depending on how big it is) then peel off the skin (use a potato peeler everyone, these buggers are tough) and cut out the seeds. Cube the squash and add to the now boiling water. Add 2-3 tbsp. of chopped parsley to the water as well. Boil the squash for at least 20 minutes or more, until tender. While squash is boiling- , slice up the onion and in another medium sized pot melt the 4 tbsp. spoons of butter, add 1/2 cup of the chardonnay to melted butter, then add the sliced onions and cook on medium-high heat until onions are translucent. Peel and core the apples then chop into halves. Fill the medium pot (with the onion) halfway full of water. Add the apples and the rest of the parsley and bring to a boil. Boil for 10 minutes.
When the squash is ready, drain it. Then using a blender- add 1/2 cup or more of heavy whipping cream, the squash, and some of the apple/onion mixture. Blend until pureed. Pour pureed mixture back into big pot. Keep pureeing in batches until all the veggies, fruit and heavy whip are used up. Turn heat on low. Add 1 cup of chardonnay and 2-3 cubes of chicken bullion. Also feel free to add more salt and pepper to taste. When bullion is fully dissolved, soup is ready to serve.
Chef's notes:
* Be careful when salt and peppering the water. The squash acts quite a lot like potato's- it'll adsorb quite a bit of what you put in the water. If you really like the wine flavor- buy a cheaper bottle of chardonnay and add it to the squash 'water' as well.
* The base recipe serves about four to five. I ALWAYS double it.
* You CAN put all of this in one pot. It needs to be a VERY big pot but it is possible if you want to cut out a dish you'll have to clean later.
* You can add less heavy whip to make a thicker more 'bisque'-like soup or add more to make it thinner. Same goes on the chardonnay.
* I prefer a sweeter wine with this. I've tried pinot and dryer house whites- the chardonnay goes so much better with the apple. Red wine makes the soup look a little 'off' but adds a hearty dimension if that's something you'd like to try.
* When pureeing please do add some of the butter/chardonnay water from the onions- it helps in the pureeing and adds flavor so you can season less at the end.
* Try not to overfill your blender. Beside possibly being a hot mess (literally) it will puree much better in small batches. Especially if you have an old or cheaper blender.
* If you hate parsley- feel free to try another herb or omit it all together. I've thought about basil and rosemary but I don't want upset the delicate balance of the apple and the squash.
* Paprika adds a great kick for those of you who like a little more spice and a little less sweet.
* Conversely- if you like sweet feel free to add 2-4 tbsp. of sugar.
Any questions, please ask.
~BMW | | |
| It was, I realize now, a defining moment in one of the ways I've perceived myself.
A brick in the wall I would build around my heart.
To keep from getting hurt.
Because if one careless comment could cut that deeply- what would an actual rejection do to me?
I was seventeen and in the very deep throes of a huge crush.
Now, I'd had infatuations before, but this, this was different.
This was butterflies in the stomach for the first time. This was actually being physically aware of when he stepped into a room- the tingle up the spine, that flush of heat. The inability to string together words in a simple sentence when he casually touched me.
I was undone.
Then one amazing night there was a fierce storm- the power went out, we lit candles and talked and debated for hours about... everything. Of course male/female relationships did come up more than once in our large of group of teens. We ribbed one another and traded theories and ideas and truths.
One of the theories floating around that night was that guys almost always knew when a girl liked them. All the girls found this preposterous. We laughed a little more as the storm abated, power came back on and we went outside as the clouds parted to watch another beautiful Texas sunset.
As we were leaving the room my well-intentioned best friend asked said guy, in a playful way, what he thought about me. His response was casual, light, and crushing.
" Blaire's just... Blaire. You know, like one of the guys."
That's not verbatim mind you. But that was the gist of it.
From almost any other guy that would have been a compliment.
But no girl wants to hear that the object of some SERIOUS affection thinks of her as one of the guys.
That was beginning. Of never letting on what I felt or how deeply. Playing it close to the chest was so much safer than ever feeling that let down, that devalued, ever again.
Things with him were never the same. He went through a string of serious relationships that didn't work out and I- well, to date, I have not been in ANY relationships. We always seemed to miscommunicate or offend one another when we did actually get together.
Here I am, ten years later, realizing that I need to take the wall down. Even if it is brick by stubborn brick.
It looks like it's going to be that type of year. I'm more than ready for it.
Deuces ya'll-
E.
| | |
| Now I know here in Xanga-land we're all to mature to fall into the hype and cliche of New Years Resolutions. But, as they say, a cliche is a cliche for a reason, so- I'm won't call them resolutions. Or even "Things to Accomplish" or some such nonsense as that. I'll just say these are my wishes for the coming new year. Some of them practical, some not so much... But all are things my heart has dreamed and what, I ask, is wrong with a little wish fulfilment? And here. we. go-
1) For my best friend to have the most beautiful wedding. EVER. (I didn't say they were all going to be about me, did I?) 2) To quit the 'bux and get a job that actually pays well. 3) Pay off my debt and say goodbye (for now at least) to the great state of Texas. 4) To either go to Ireland or go to Costa Rica and learn how to surf. 5) To be properly asked out. As in "Blaire, would you go out on a date with me?" To which I would respond- "Why, yes, Jensen. I'd love too." (Sorry, I'll remove my self from fantasy land now) 6) To ratchet up my kick-ass exercise plan and continue losing weight (and show up at said best friends wedding and dance with every cute guy in the place :) 7) To take dance lessons again . Finally. 8) To land some sort of acting gig or role in a play/musical. 9) To FINISH at least three screenplays. 10) To be inspired. I don't care how. I just want God to do something cool and unexpected. I want to be in awe again. Eowin out. | | |
|
